im kinda sick of
guys who only talk to me because they want to hookup. my ex Sam was texting me most of the night saying “oh i want you so bad right now blah blah blah” and yeah part of me kinda did want to hookup with him cuz i havent and all humans lust. but then hes like “scale of 1 to 10 how bad u want me?” and i said i wasnt in a too cheery mood so 7. and then he was all you dont get me unless youre a 10. like wtf? honestly idky but it made me mad. i think because it was made to seem like im the one being denied when i dont even fucking want the sex. its like fuck you seriously.
not to mention chris has been talking to me and being the same, like all ooo lets hangout im alone bullshit. C0ME FUCKING ON! this is the guy who i thought was a friend. especially when i thought i got stood up from a date and he couldnt come get me because he was studying. like seriously. i left a message and was all upset and shit. and now he wants ass? YEAH RIGHT
like i try to tell myself i dont want anything to do with guys right now or a relationship but part of me does or needs something. like i dont wanna hook up with people i have no emotional connection whatsoever with. thats just dumb. antonio’s always drunk, nik fuckin lied and probably fucks with modesto, and nate, the one guy who i still love and have emotions for, is usually too busy to give two shits
sorry for ranting, im just so fucking fed up
i wish i could leave for college now. bye bye to everyone and this life. and find some happiness with someone or happiness that doesnt make me so bored and lonely that im thinking about this.
goodnight.
